Breathe
by Halo-Less-Angel
Summary: A one shot i owe Storygirl11! :  "One missing nin, two missing nin, three missing nin, four... I've killed millions, whats the harm in one more?" Can Kakashi find love, in an emotionless ninja?


**A/N: SO! I owe Storygirl11 this one shot, which I've owed her for about a month now, and I'm just finishing it now! :)**

**Read and love people, read and love! Then ... review! ... Please?**

**I don't own anything... cause I'm BROKE! Just kidding lol.**

**STORY START:**

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><p>Her eyes are empty, cold pits of black. Her heart is the blackest of evil souls, containing millions of begging wounds, each seeping their horror and irritation out into her body.<p>

They say she is a monster, a cold, empty heart of the worst kind.

To her... they couldn't be more right.

"One missing nin, two missing nin, three missing nin, four... I've killed millions, whats the harm in one more?" Her husky voice breathed into the ear of her pray, drawing a gasp from a hoarse throat, that was really a scream of terror.

Just then, his eyes rolled back into his head, a sword peering through his chest, right where his heart was.

"Pathetic." Her black shinobi boot connected with the missing ninja's back, forcing his to the floor as she tore her sword from the lifeless body.__

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><p><em>Home<em>. She thought, feeling relieved as she always did when she reached the village.

From her perch on the tree, she could see the peak of the Hokage Tower, which in itself was the climax of the city.

Half a bat of an eye lid and she was leaping through the air, her body curved in a wonderful arch until she hit the ground in front of the lazy gate keepers, who shivered as she walked forward, her hands in her pockets and cloths splattered in blood.

"... Rakurai-San, you're back..." The ninja bowed, and after thouroughly checking her papers, allowed her entry into the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

The moon caressed the streets, hardly beaming into the city due to the thick neon signs that irritated Rakurai's sensitive eyes.

As she neared the Hokage Tower she frowned. Passing by an empty building, she stopped and stared at her reflection in the glass display.

A lone hand reached up to touch the glass. "... Is this... me? This monster... is me. I am the monster..." The brown haired Kunoichi shook her head, leaving the glass with nothing but the red stain of blood, which slowly dripped down to the pavement.

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><p>Evil, she was called. Parents hid their children from her, terrified that she may install that black soul into their child forcefully.<p>

She never had a parent... someone who could hide her from the evils of the Shinobi world.

Maybe this is the answer to the question of why... why she was such a monster, and lusted for blood.

"Hokage-Sama." Tsunade looked up to the Anbu official who was maskless... the Kunoichi refused to wear a mask, stating that she wanted to have her victims look her in the eye as they met their maker.

"Rakurai-San. Report?" Tsunade would never openly admit it, but she feared this woman. Never had she seen such darkness in an obligated Shinobi.

"The village was easily inflitrated. The target was easy enough to find. There were several challengers along the way, who all met the same fate. I assasinated the target and disposed of the body. There were no interfearences on the way back. It was as you said Hokage-Sama, a fairly simple mission." There was no change to the girls eyes as she went into detail on the murders she had commited.

They were all clean, painless murders.

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><p>A teen was perched by himself at the edge of a tree, starring at the woman who sat in front of the same stone his Sensei would.<p>

She talked to this stone, as if it were a person.

"... I killed more people last night. I made it as quick and painless as possible. It proved to be very simple. I wonder if this is how my parents murderer felt, as if they were a liberator, after they slayed them and left me in a pool of their blood..." The black haired boy listened on in shock.

"I wonder if that man had a family. A mother, or a father. Someone who... cared about them." She paused as the wind blew. "Maybe he was a father. Maybe I put a helpless child into the same situation I was forced into."

Sasuke held in a gasp. She was... like him.

"Does it make me a monster? Am I... evil..." A shake of the head. "No... no, I'm not evil. I'm simply completing the task I was assigned. There isn't anything wrong with that."

Sasuke griped in shock. Is this what he was becoming... an empty shell?

"... A little girl smiled at me today... It made me feel... odd. A bubble in my chest, it made everything... lighter. I... I like that feeling." She was describing happyness... Sasuke held in a sob as this woman who was so similar to him yet so much worse off than him described happyness... as if it were a rare occasion.

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><p>"What are you doing?" As the months passed, Sasuke introduced himself to the woman, and explained what had happened to him. When he told her he wanted revenge, she had looked at him with a look of understanding in her eyes.<p>

She had agreed to train him.

"... Paying my respects to my parents." Sasuke replied as he took the flowers from the Yamanaka.

"Why?" While she taught Sasuke about being the ultimate Shinobi, Sasuke taught her to the best of his ability how to be a normal person.

"I don't know. I just do." He replied.

"Oh..." She responded. "How do you 'pay' these respects? Do you leave them something?"

"No, you tell them how much you miss them. How you wish things could be... how your life is going... I'll take you, to try with your parents in a little while." She nodded, and tried to smile at a young girl who skipped past, but the child simply took off in fear, and Rakurai frowned.

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><p>"... I don't see the point of this." Sasuke sighed as he kneeled next to Rakurai in front of her parents grave. "I don't like it. It makes me feel... funny."<p>

"It's sadness." Sasuke replied softly.

"Why am I sad?" She asked after a small silence.

"You miss them... you wish they were here..."

"I don't get it... What am I supposed to do?" She looked at Sasuke with her brown eyes, which were laced with confusion, hurt, and the normal emptyness.

"Talk to them, like you do the memorial stone."

The wind ruffled both heads of dark hair. "I feel pain. I don't like it. It's... worse than a flesh wound." She clutched at her chest. "I-I... why do I feel like this? What's happening to me?"

"You're mourning." Sasuke said softly.

"Why?" She exclaimed. "Why am I mourning? What is the point of this! Why am I doing this if all it will do is hurt me!"

"Because you'll feel better than you ever have after you're done..." Sasuke whispered.

"... Do you sware?"

The Uchiha simply nodded.

It was silent for all except the sound of the wind brushing the leaves for a while.

"I'm a murderer... I'm a monster... people tell there children stories of me to get them to go to sleep. Why does this hurt? Why... -why is this so painful? I don't even remember your faces!" Her nails dug into the ground, and Sasuke watched as a tear fell from her eye, dripping slowly down her cheek. "Why were you so _weak_? Why did you have to _die_! Did you ever think of what it would do to me!"

More tears cascaded down her cheeks. This was more emotion than she had ever shown in all thirty years of her life.

"It made me _this_! This _monster!_"

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><p>Sasuke and Rakurai were at the training grounds, with Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi.<p>

After that breakdown, Rakurai clammed up again, and refused to come out for days. Sasuke had finally convinced her to start training him again.

But he hadn't lied to her. After her break down, she felt lighter, as if she had taken a load off of her chest.

Kakashi was nervous to have Sasuke around her though. She too, was an avenger. One who had gotten her revenge, in a bloody battle that he had been present for. And the look on her face, when she had killed her parents murderer... it was one of triumph... but as the weeks passed, that triumph grew into emptyness.

Kakashi did not want to see that same look, that _dead _look on Sasuke's face.

"... You have to focus. Put everything into it. Anger, frustration, fuel it. Every twist of your body, every stab of your kunai. Fight as if it is your last fight, the last moment you have to live." But she did know what to say to motivate his students, which is more than he would have ever thought for her.

"I'm _trying _Rakurai-Chan! It just... it doesn't **work **for me!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Then you aren't trying hard enough. You don't _want it _Naruto. You have to _want _it." Naruto huffed, throwing himself to the floor.

"What would you know about wanting! Everything you ever wanted has fallen into your lap!"

"You couldn't be more wrong." Naruto looked up in shock at the sadness in her tone. "We aren't too different, you and I."

"Yes we are!" Naruto exclaimed. "Your just this blob of _nothing!_"

"Because I handled our situation differently. My parents were murdered when I was in my first week of life. I was left to die in a pool of their blood, until the Sandaime found me. I chose revenge, while you choose to hide everything in a bottle." She turned her back to the small group. "And Sasuke... when I did it, when I killed that man... it was the best feeling in my life."

Sasuke's face darkened. "And then I didn't feel anything."

It was silent, as she continued. "I felt _nothing_. No happieness, no remorse, no regret. I was alive, but I wasn't _living_. I'd thrown my life away, all because I wanted to kill one man. I turned my body into a weapon... and that is my one regret. Doing the things that you are doing now."

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><p>Kakashi watched her as she sat on his couch, seeming uncomfortable.<p>

It had been months sense he got to know her, and she wasn't so bad. She was just very confused in the emotion department. But she was willing to learn. To start over.

"... Why do I feel uncomfortable?" And not knowing how to handle emotions made certain things very akward.

"... Because you aren't used to this feeling. Niether am I." Kakashi eye smiled at the young woman, who blinked in response.

"What feeling?"

"... Having feelings for someone else."

"What do you mean?" She demanded, wiggling in her seat slightly when Kakashi sat next to her, his body facing hers and arm on the couch behind her.

"Feeling... attracted to someone else. Like you are attracted to the flow of a murderers blood..."

"I don't feel like that... it's different." She complained, her eye brows furrowing in irritation. "I don't know how to explain it! It's irritating!"

"Feel your pulse." Kakashi ordered, and she did so with slight hesitation. "Is it fast?"

"... Only slightly... but what does this-" Kakashi put a finger to her lips.

"Shh, shh... does your stomach feel like there are butterflies floating around in it?"

"Butterflies? Why would there be butterflies in my stomach?"

"Not literally." Kakashi rolled his eyes, "Figuratively speaking."

"Oh... I... I think so?"

"Do you feel... strangely attracted to me?" She furrowed her brows once again. She always felt strange around Kakashi now.

"I... suppose..."

"Tell me how you feel, after..." Kakashi leaned in, and touched his lips to her own gently, then pulling back slowly. "That."

"I feel... like I'm floating... it's... it's nice... I like this feeling..." She whispered softly, reaching up to touch her lips... "Do... Do it again?"

Kakashi chuckled, but leaned in, pressing his mouth to hers again, softly but with more pressure this time.

She nodded, and put her hands on the back of his neck. Kakashi slid her hitai-ate over her eyes, and she waited patiently, until she felt his naked lips upon hers.

* * *

><p>Sasuke had no need to go to Orochimaru. Rakurai could teach him everything about surpressing his cursemark, seeing as she had one of her own which was much more powerful.<p>

She could also teach him ten times more than Orochimaru could ever hope of teaching him.

She could teach him how to cope.

How to read between the lines.

How to see that it was really the council, behind all of the hurt, and the betrayal he felt.

Not Konoha. Not Itachi.

And though single handedly against the council he was nothing, but with her at his side... he was invincable.

She only knew all of this, because she had been the one told to eliminate the Uchiha had Itachi not gone through with it.

And she told Sasuke, that she would have done it, because she didn't know better. It would have been her order. And they would have fed her lies.

But he wasn't mad at her. Because she didn't have to do it.

Though he told her honestly he would have probably never lived to get revenge.

You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be. You got to fight just to make it through, 'cause I will be the death of you.

"One for me..." Kakashi pressed his lips to hers softly. "One for you..." He repeated it, with just a bit more pressure than the last time.

"One just for the hell of it." Rakurai pushed him onto his back, straddling his waist and pressing an intimate kiss to Kakashi's lips.

He chuckled when she pulled back, sitting on his pelvis while he leaned up on his elbows. Her arms were linked around his neck, and there was a tender look in her eyes, which smothered the usual blank look.

"One more?"

"Don't push it." She got off of Kakashi, moving to her jacket which was laying on the floor, and pulling it on. "I have to go meet up with Sasuke and Naruto. They're sparring and asked me to judge."

Kakashi pouted, then huffed. "You aren't a blob. You're a mother hen."

"Shut up Hatake!" A boot was lobbed at his head and he dodged expertly.

"Haha!" He chortled. "Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!"

She rolled her eyes at his childish perverted ways. "C'mon, give me a kiss!"

"Nope." She popped the P, her hands retreating into her back pockets. "I better get going. Ashiteru!"

"Ashiteru..." Kakashi smiled, laying back on the bed with his arms behind his head.

The past few years have treated him well. He got Rakurai, a house, and now, he had this little ring in the top draw of his cabanet...

Just a little bit more time... And she would be his forever.

I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating.

There were soft cries into the late night. Kakashi sighed as he sat up, nudging his wife. "Akane is crying."

"Then go get her..." She mumbled sleepily, rolling onto her stomach and stealing his pillow.

"But-"

"Don't but me. I carried her in my stomach for nine months. And she kept me up for hours." Kakashi rolled his eyes, but went to get his daughter regardless.

When the silver haired man entered his daughters room, he smiled softly at her black and white streaked hair. She was only a few months old, three to be prescise. "Akane-Chan...Shh..." Kakashi picked up the infant, who instantly began tugging on her fathers fingers in awe.

He chucked softly and carried the small bundle to his room.

His wife was splayed out on the bed, snoring.

"Mommy is a noisy sleeper Akane-Chan..." The baby let out soft sounds of content as she dosed in her fathers arms.

"Daddy?" Kakashi sighed. It looks like he has a full bed tonight.

"Come on in Sumenai." The four year old boy curled up next to his baby sister, an arm around her tiny form.

Good times are wonderful. But they never last.

**~Fifteen Years Later~**

"Daddy!" Kakashi groaned in annoyance at his teen daughter. "I'm going to-"

"I liked you much better when you were small, and I could hold you, and you didn't know how to talk..." A sharp punch in the arm made him chuckle. "Ooh, fiesty..."

"Perv..." Rakurai simply grumbled at her husband as her seven year old son rambled about how 'Uncle Naruto and Uncle Sasuke' were teaching him how to throw kunai.

"Mom!" The nineteen year old boy growled coming into the kitchen. "That Uchiha's spawn is hitting on Akane!"

"Who is hitting on my daughter?" Kakashi narrowed his eyes at his oldest son.

"Shisui Uchiha, Itachi's kid. The little pr-"

"Finish that sentance. I dare you." Rakurai held out a steak knife, eyes glinting in anger.

"R...incess- The little princess was telling her how 'hot' she is." Kakashi's eye twitched.

"A_kane_!"

"Yes daddy?" She smiled innocently.

"Don't think so, I'll handle this." Rakurai pushed her husbands face away from their only daughter, knowing he was buckling under the pressure of his daughters puppy eyes. "One to ten?"

"... Eleven..."

"Hmm." Rakurai nodded, seeming pleased. "Maturity?"

"Decent..."

"Handsy?"

"No..."

"Nice?"

"Of course..."

"Alright." Rakurai nodded her head. "I'm cutting his balls off."

"Ra_ku_rai!" Kakashi exclaimed, covering his daughters ears.

"Shut up Kakashi. You aren't a saint." Said woman rolled her eyes, and turned back to the stove.

"That's different, you're my wife, she's my _daughter_!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"And I said I was going to cut off-" Kakashi covered her mouth.

"You're tainting her pure ears!"

"She's _fif_teen Kakashi!" Rakurai glared up at her husband, and the kids watched, slightly nervous. There mothers temper wasn't something to play with.

"I sware- you're _rediculous!_" Kakashi shouted, throwing his hands up into the air. "I don't want any perverse language around my kids!"

"_Your kids?_" Rakurai seethed, "_I _carried them around for _nine months _a _piece_, developed _back problems _and gave up being a _kunoichi_! They are just as much _my _kids as they are **yours!** If not then _**more**_!"

"I can't, you're _killing _me!"

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><p>If Kakashi could, he would go back and take everything he had ever said to hurt his wife.<p>

"Dad..." Akane had her hands on his arm as they stood in the pooring rain in front of a lonely tombstone.

"Come on Akane..." Sumenai put a hand on his sisters shoulder, leading her and their fifteen year old brother, Kaito away from their father.

For hours, he stood at the site of his lover. His now dead lover.

It hurt, quite frankly, worse than everything the ninja had ever felt. And as he read the text on the cold stone, he felt it could be more right.

_God saw you getting tired, and a cure was not to be, he wrapped his arms around you, and whispered 'come with me'._

_In tears we watched you fade away, you fought so hard to stay, but when we saw you sleeping, so peacefully, we could not wish you back, to suffer that again._

_So treasure her lord, in your garden of rest. For here on earth, she was one of the best._

'She better be treasured...' Weakly, was all Kakashi could think.

His heart was missing... his chest was empty. Is this how Rakurai felt, all those years?

So empty, so cold, so... _alone_?

It's horrible... it feels as if the world was closing in on him...

''So this is what it's like... when you can't breathe...''

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><p><strong>I'm sorry it was so sad...<strong>

**But I'm on youtube and somebody made Neji's song can't touch this so... ROTFL!**

**And Gai's was Do you know the muscle man!**

**LMFAO!**

**Okay... I'll stop.**

**Eheh... review per favore!**


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